A New Mystery

Following in the footsteps of my trusty coblogger here, Detective Dan would like to report about his Saturday, but there's a mystery to solve.

You see last weekend I was at the same individual's house, and I saw something disturbing. Upon lifting the commode I spotted remaining evidence of waste disposal. It was a mere nugget so I expected it was simply accidental.

Then Saturday I again came to the conculsion that I needed to urinate. I open the lid of the waste disposal machine, to come face to face with a large sample of fecal matter and a river of urine already left for me.

It's fucking disgusting is what it is.

The youngest person in my friend's family is 14. I'd be willing to bet that everyone in that house has used the bathroom one a day if not more. That would mean they've flushed the toilet over 10,000 times. One would figure that if you did something 10,000 times, you'd pretty much perfect it.

Take blinking for example. I can blink every time, each and every time I get the desire to blink, I do so successfully. If I want to turn on a light switch, I can and I do...each time without fail.

So how hard is it to flush a fucking toilet? Seriously.

There's a lot of things I can't do.

- Math
- Rocket Science
- Biology
- Brain Surgery
- A woman

but flushing the toilet is something even I can achieve with 100% accuracy.

Now lets move on...shall we?

I spent Sat at a friend's house. I have two friends I spend the majority of my social time with. One being about 6'5 and 300 something, the other about 5'10 and 130. I find it amusing that both have tried wrestling me, yet both failed equally as miserably.

I ended up smoking...as I usually do. That shit must have been PHENOMENAL cause I was high after 3 hits. Of course that wouldn't be my last hits, I ended up getting so high I forgot how to hit a bong. I ended up blowing instead of sucking and weed flew everywhere.

Ever notice how weed makes pretty much everything better? I actually watched MTV without regret....well I didn't have much of a choice though. And even Disturbed sounds semi listenable when high enough. Korn is scary to listen to when impaired.

I might have been drunk too, I had several shots of moonshine, but I was already high so I don't know if it effected me or not. I assume it couldn't have hurt.

It was actually a pretty boring day... I got rather irreitible with one friend. Why do some people find it necessary to fuck with you when you're stoned? I'm sorry I don't enjoy having a shoe thrown at my face, being hit repeatedly in the knee, and tapped several times while trying to catch a quick nap. I can't say I enjoy watching an hour long game of Halo, just let me get a nap real quick...fuck!

Anyways...this is just rambling at this point anit it?